Every single bereaved parent I’ve met either online or in rl dreads Christmas without their child. It doesn’t matter which time of year they died, Christmas is just not the same with someone so important missing. Yet in time they are expected to start to send cards, go to the staff night out and generally take part in all the festivities as they did before.
Because Jude died at Christmas I expect people will excuse us from those obligations for many years if not forever. I could probably force myself to write cards without his name and drag myself in and out of shops to the tune of “it’ll be lonely this Christmas.” I could just about wear a silly hat and eat overpriced turkey with workmates or sit through carols in the high street. But I’m not going to. I’m not putting any pressure on myself and I’m thankful that I have supportive friends and family who don’t put pressure on me either.

By judesmum

2 comments on “Pressure

  1. My daughter,Rosie, died on 21st December 2008..I no longer celebrate Christmas …sadly,I don’t even like the word . But we do stuff- the hi-light being helping at The Soup Kitchen Christmas Party ! I find it best to keep busy with people that have no expectations of you and just like you for being you ( my ASD students, the old dears in my Mum’s care home, the soup kitchen clients ) .I feel safe being part of a community and positively distracted by helping others ….PS. I’m no angel -just have to keep busy

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