I love Christmas.  I mean, I used to love Christmas before last year.

This year will technically be our second Christmas without Jude but last year we were in shock for most of the day and although we tried hard to make it okay for Isla, I shook most of the way through the day and nobody ate anything.

This year we need to do it again for Isla and I realise that we’ll probably have to do this for many years to come, so I’m making an effort to count my blessings and look at all the positive things I have in the run up to the big day.  A very wise blogger wrote that although we can count your blessings, other people should avoid pointing the blessings out to us.

During advent I intend to find one thing to be thankful for each day.

Today, I’m going for the most obvious one: Jude

I’m thankful that I had him in my life for 5 years and 4 months and I’m thankful that he knew how loved he was every single day of his short life.  I will miss him every day that I have left but I wouldn’t trade those years together to avoid the pain I’m in now for all the tea in China.


By judesmum

3 comments on “Advent

  1. Last year we also were in shock but somehow made it through. This year I am rediscovering the joy of the season. I’m not sure how it happened but somehow joy has found me again, amidst the tears and constant thoughts of my little girl.

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