Happy Ending

All’s well that ends well..

We have been inundated by well wishers since having Marley.  People are genuinely happy for us and some are also probably pretty relieved.  We have become approachable again as though our grief has been wiped away and replaced by dewy eyed, innocent love for our new daughter.  One friend recounted meeting someone and sharing the “good news” with them before they launched into how sorry they were for us.  I wholeheartedly approve of this because as I’ve said before, I don’t need sympathy but it does make me wonder how people think we feel about our new life.

The thing is, one thing does not cancel out the other.  The birth of Marley does not seal up the hole made by losing Jude.  One hundred babies couldn’t make us a complete family again.  That can never happen.

There are no happy endings to our story, there are blessings to be counted and lighter moments in the dark days but the root cause of our pain can never be undone.

He can never come back.

By judesmum

5 comments on “Happy Ending

  1. People do think that the happy ending comes with the new child. I even had a cousin say, “I told you everything was going to be ok” when Mo was born. Makes no sense. I am so sorry Jude isn’t coming back. His little face was so cute. You must have delighted in kissing his sweet cheeks. He looks so precious and sweet in every picture you post. It will never be ok and you are right, there is no happy ending….but there can be some happiness. I am sure Marley does remind you of that.
    Lots of love to you – Abby

    • It’s bizarre isn’t it. As though you can replace a living, breathing person who was your whole world.
      My girls do make me happy as do lots of other people in my life but there will always be the sadness.
      Love to you and your boys,

  2. There is NO replacement. Ever. I understand what you’re saying about people seeming to think that now everything is going to be “okay”.

    I have said so often, I’m alive, but I’m choosing to LIVE, and with that comes happiness, even when it’s bittersweet, such as the birth of a new baby whilst still mourning the loss of my first born.

    Wishing you and your beautiful family well!

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