My boy Jude


We have been overwhelmed by the kindness of people who’ve sent cards and presents for Marley. People that we hardly know have sent us gifts , cards and knitted little hats, cardigans and shawls for her. I know that a lot of this is to do with Jude. I know that people are so pleased for us that we have little Marley in our lives. What has been even more touching is the amount of references to Jude that people have made. People have asked if she’s looks like him, they’ve talked about what a contented baby he was and our lovely neighbours mentioned that they remembered the night we brought Jude home when he was a baby. It’s so strange the people who just “get it”.
Every time I come away from a chat where Jude is mentioned I feel lighter and more settled. I am not over the death of my baby boy and I never will be so the mention of his name doesn’t remind me that he died, it lets me know that people remember that he lived.

By judesmum

3 comments on “My boy Jude

  1. Dear one,

    I am a stranger from the US. I found your blog quite by hapenstance. But I am glad I did. Your Jude is a beautiful boy. I have enjoyed reading about what a lovely wee boy he was, is! His eyes just take your breath away don’t they? I am so sorry that he died and left your heart so very broken.

    I am unable to have children, a very different kind of heart break but like yours one that I will carry my whole life over. I say this not to compare our pain but to actually highlight a point. You see while I cannot in any way know what the death of a child feels like. I am a pediatric oncology nurse. I have my entire adult life worked with parents who’s precious children have suffered an died. There will never be adequate words to convey what that experience is. I can relate in other ways though and that is really why I am here.

    My brother died when he was 6 1/2. I was three, my sisters 4 & 8. He had leukemia. My mama was just 29 years old. I grew up in a family shrouded in pain and loss. But I also grew up in a family rich in love and joy. I want you to know that you and your little family can and will be happy. And you will take Jude with you as we took our David. I just want to give you hope that while there will alwaysbe pain, one day it will cease to hurt so damn bad. Your daughters are lovely. Your Jude is a darling spit fire of a boy. You have written so beautifully about him I feel as though I know him.

    God bless your little family. I am so sorry your Jude died.

  2. The last line is the perfect summary of how I feel. Poignant! I’m glad people are thinking about Jude and telling you. It’s important and beautiful.

  3. Isn’t it wonderful when they remember and talk about your wee boy? He’s beautiful. Truly.

    I used to tell people that I was going to cry no matter what, so PLEASE let me know they remembered my girl. Please! Talk to me about her, let me know how much she meant to you in your life. I understand.

    I hope things are settling down with your beautiful Marley. There’s nothing so wonderful and delightful as a new baby, but there’s nothing quite so exhausting either. ;o)


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