I like to think that I’m a pretty reasonable person. I don’t generally rush to judge people and I don’t have unrealistically high expectations of others.
Why, then, is it bothering me so much when people tell me that if they were in my position they wouldn’t be here?
I understand the sentiment, I’ve often thought it myself when I’ve heard about some tragedy on the news. “How do those families carry on?”
But then there is the underlying insinuation that somehow you love your child less, otherwise surely your heart would spontaneously stop at the same time as theirs?
I’ve heard it a few times in different ways and it really seems to depend who it comes from. From our friends, I realise that they know me and they know that I’m not great with sharing my feelings. I also know that they are in no doubt that Jude and Isla are the very core of my life. So when they say I’m being brave, I understand it and I know they realise that it’s difficult all the time. However, when the lady who lives in the next street casually laments that if it were her she’d not be standing, I’d like to ram my fist down her throat. Yes, I realise that doesn’t paint a picture of a reasonable person who doesn’t rush to judge, but hey, I don’t have unrealistic expectations of myself either.