The Box

David went to school today to collect Jude’s things.  It has taken us a long time to have the courage to do that but as it’s the end of term we thought we should.

I was at work and I’d put it out of my mind but he texted me to say how it was really lovely but really hard.   I lost it and, for only the second time I had to leave.  I drove in the inside lane all the way home as I struggled to see through my tears, rushed in the door and tore the lid off the large blue box.

It had all his work from his five months in primary one, an unopened Christmas present from his teachers, a book of condolence from the parents, photographs, his gym kit and letters and cards written by his classmates about what a good friend he was.  It was really lovely but so so hard to look at.  One of the worksheets asked what he was most looking forward to in Primary one and he’d said, “learning why Batman can’t fly”. He had high expectations my boy and I’m not sure that school quite rose to that.


By judesmum

2 comments on “The Box

  1. I think this was really brave. Catherine’s teachers brought most of her things a few days after she died. I think I had asked for them. I think the thing is, that in those early days, it almost has less impact, because you reeling, and so in shock – it was before the funeral even – it almost carries less significance – though I find her folder difficult to look at now.

    I’m so sorry Fiona – our children should have finished P1 this week. It is so terribly unfair. I hope the box gives you a bit of comfort.

    I love Jude’s take on what school would offer! I think you are right though – he was set for disappointment. This age is such a fantastic one – so full of possibility. I can only imagine that you must have provided him with a pretty fantastic life to have opened him up to such possiblity!

    • Thanks Susan,
      I think we really should’ve collected it earlier but the end of term seemed to be the last chance saloon. I’m sure they would’ve kept it but it’s the same as picking up his little box from the hospital I couldn’t bear to think of it sitting there unwanted and uncollected. I hope it will give me comfort eventually, but I threw up right after looking at for the first time.
      The end of term feels really flat. I know you must feel the same. It’s just unfair.

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