So I was really worried about the holidays and the lack of routine.
Turns out I have been feeling fine for the most part. I had a really bad day at the start but got over it and the rest of the days have passed without too much pain. We have been out with friends and on day trips. We won’t go to the usual places but we’re still able to take Isla out and have fun.
This time last year we were on our way to East Links Farm but I can’t see that being on the agenda for quite some time to come.
Jude loved being with us and spending days together. He was a real home buddy and he loved playing away with his cars or his lego with us nearby.
I miss my beautiful boy but I feel that I’m moving away from the hospital bedside and getting a clearer image of him when he was alive and well, being his happy and cheerful wee self. That is all I can hope for at the moment.
Neither of us can be defined by his death, only his fantastic and happy life.